it's all because of the rain..

It's 2:00 AM..I don't have anything in mind to write about but there's something inside of me pushing me to post an entry.. Bahala na free flowing na lang..

Loneliness kills him..emptiness makes him feel lost..uncertainty creates guilt. They say that the happiest person has the most hurting heart, it's the smile that he fakes..when left alone he cries a river..he wakes up in the midst of the night praying that the next morning will never be the same morning he woke up in. Being hunted by his fears, worries keep on playing in his mind over and over again, there's no one to put the blame on but him. Everyone is around and yet he feels alone, there's no reason to cry but the tears just keep falling, he has a lot of questions with no answers, he's walking with no direction, he's talking but can't utter not even a single word. He's lost, uncertain, empty handed, disturbed, worried, hurt, hopeless and afraid. He needs someone.. he needs himself.

tagos hanggang puso

"Sabihin mo na kung babalik ka pa,Para di na mag-hintay.Sabihin mo na kung aayaw ka na,Para lang malaman ko.." SABIHIN by Zelle

When I first heard that song, right there and then it captured my attention. I feel every word in the lyrics and the emotion of the song. It reach deep down to one's soul. When you're left in the cold and searching for answers. When you feel like there's no one to give you warmth. When you know that the only person you're holding onto has given up on you. When you're waiting for someone who will never come. When you realize that you aren't brave enough to accept things as they are. When everyone tells you to let go but you just can't..you don't want to..

;)

I must say this before I go to sleep..

BIG Thanks to:

AMIE
FANGET
JANE

for the ma-dramang header. ;)

goodnight guys!

:(

Malungkot ako ksi ndi nko masaya....sa lahat ng bagay...

Ala nko drive...

Pagod nko....

Ung feeling n everyday seems to be a struggle.....

Ndi nko masaya...

--- from my friend C, we've been exchanging emails since this morning. I actually feel the same. :(

walang magawa pero madaming dapat gawin

NYC when will I visit thee? haha! what da ****! man! I'm doing a rhyme here! (haha very Badap!) tama na nga! hindi bagay saka naaalala ko si Badap pag mga ganyan hehe. Anyway, I was doing nothing when I stumbled upon this beautiful pic of New York City bigla ko tuloy naisip..when will I set foot on this city??

Here is a picture of a farm-- haayy ang sarap kung meron kang ganitong lupain na malapit sa bahay mo. A white painted house not too big but not too small..yung tama lang for a family of 4. Siguro laging relaxed ang feeling mo especially in the morning. Ang sarap siguro to wake up in the morning and by the window you will see this scenery..truly priceless.

Alin ba talaga gusto ko? living in a busy city like NY or in a calm place away from the city? Sana I can do both but not at the same time of course (nakakatakot naman yata yun may pangalawang Shirleen..scary.. haha) Haayy.. wala talaga kong magawa..hehe =)

she just arrived this morning

This is the 1st video of CHIN she is from China. Pasalubong sya ni boss sa amin purple yung dress nung sa akin. I named it/her Chin kasi wala akong maisip hehe. Nakakatuwa kasi it/she says ILOVEYOU. To boss: Thanks po sa pasalubong! buti na lang hindi white rabbit candy yung dala nyo hahaha =P

a lot has happened

Sept 7, Friday
2 cuts.. ouch!

Ouch! my middle finger in my left hand and thumb in the right hand -- injured! the first one sa middle finger nagkaron sya ng cut because of a staple wire the other one sa thumb dahil sa alambre. Grabe super disaster talaga pag nasa bahay ako hindi ko alam kung clumsy lang ba talaga ako o dahil maliit lang talaga yung bahay namin. Haayy. hanggang ngayon ang sakit nya! ang hirap kapag naliligo masakit kasi kapag nababasa.. huhuhu.


Sept. 8, Saturday

After CB exam, we (Jane and Amie) went to Edsa Shrine Church supposedly to hear mass but we missed it (I think) so we just stayed inside the church for a while and prayed, it was Mama Mary's birthday. We all feel sleepy but don't want to go home yet so we just watched A Love Story (finally!), it was worth it.. Jane cried, I almost cry while Amie didn't cry at all (nakakaiyak naman yung ibang scenes lalo na pag si Maricel na yung umiiyak ewan ko dun kay Amie hindi sya na moved sa mga scenes) hehe.

Finally I got a copy of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind vcd, kung kani kanino na ko nagtanong ng vcd or dvd nun pero lahat wala! medyo luma na kasi yung movie. Super thank you sa videocity meron silang copy!! hehe. According to my super idol maganda daw yung movie but when I watched it aayy.. di ko masyadong na-appreciate hehe.


I'm learning!!!

First time kong magluto ng may sabaw hehe. I cooked pork adobo!! yehey!! pagkain naman yung niluto at naging adobo naman talaga sya hehe. Before kasi mag-fry lang alam ko this time nag-effort na ko na matutong magluto and hopefully magtuluy tuloy na sya. Feeling ko super achievement na yun (though sa iba super dali lang naman nun), happy na ko na may natutunan akong bago. Ang unang nakatikim ng adobo ko..si Potchie!! haha. Nung pinatikim ko kay Mama ang comment nya.."maasim" (huh? hindi kaya! kanya kanyang panlasa lang yun hehe). Before ko naman matapos lutuin yun eh nakabasag ako ng bote ng soy sauce hehe. Nakailang tikim ako before ko pinatay yung apoy hehe baka kasi malfunctioning ang taste buds ko kaya I have to make sure hehe. Pero nung makita ko na mukha namang adobo yung niluto ko happy na ko.


Sept. 9, Sunday

As promised, nagsimba kami ni Mama sa Antipolo. When we got home, tulog konti tpos jackpot ulit kasi napanood ko na naman si Ellen!!! eto yung video nya kaloka! She's dancing to Chris Brown's RUN IT hehe. Pasensya na phone cam lang gamit ko eh kaya medyo magalaw =)

Just this morning..Monday

On my way to work.. I heard again this funny song, the lyrics goes something like..

"nakatikim ka na ba ng lupet na humahagupit?..naibala ka na ba sa kanyon?.. nabilangan ka na ba ng sampu?..nakakita ka na ba ng patay na muling nabuhay?.."

Yung intro nung song deceiving kala ko serious na yung tipong mapapa-haayy ako pero nung nagsimula ng kumanta yung singer ayun wala na! I'm not familiar with neither the title nor the artist of that song but whenever I hear that I can't help but be amused with it. I'm just wondering what/who inspired the composer to write that song? kakaiba eh..while listening to the lyrics inisip ko tuloy buti na lang hindi pa nangyayari sken yung mga sinasabi sa lyrics (wag naman sanang mangyari!) hehe.

from the movie Chasing Amy

"I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't, I can't look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are"

it melts my heart

Saturday, I received a text from Aaron, my nephew (he's my cousin's son). The text was:"Ate, kelan ka pupunta dito?", a very short and simple text message coming from a 6-year old kiddo, I must say it made a big impact on me. Often times he and his older sister, Aleta (who's 8 years old) would text me before the week ends asking if I'm coming to visit them. I regularly go to their house in Taguig and spend my Saturdays and Sundays just watching tv, playing and helping them with their homeworks (which I enjoy doing) but for the last 2 weeks I haven't seen them..I miss them and it melts my heart everytime I receive text message that says "Ate kumusta ka na?" (hay buti pa ang mga bata naaalala akong kumustahin), "Pupunta ka ba dito sa Saturday?", "Ilang tulog pa bago ka pumunta?" good thing they're sweet unlike me hehe. They even call me here in the office just to say "hi" and "kumusta" and sometimes when I ask why did they call, they would say "wala lang!" ...nakakatuwa, I feel so loved by them. Children are blessings really, they have cute and unique expressions of love. =)

Aleta, Mikko and Aaron - Ang Sipag